Alternative Healing Beyond Recovery for the GENIUS


Need to take the next step in your recovery from abuse or an alcoholic family? Ready to try sound, research-based alternative techniques? In Alternative Healing Beyond Recovery for the Genius you will find the answers you need!

Let's end abuse! This book moves the cause to fast forward. Read and reap the tremendous insights.

—Mark Victor Hanson, co-author of Chicken Soup for the Soul

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Need to take the next step in your recovery from abuse or an alcoholic family? Ready to try sound, research-based alternative techniques? In Alternative Healing Beyond Recovery for the Genius you will find the answers you need!

This book is a treasure chest of simple healing exercises and life skills activities that help you, the survivor of abuse and/or an alcoholic family, to release old feelings, repair emotional hurts, and learn missing life skills. Many adult children of alcoholics and survivors of abuse–and there are more than 64 million in this country alone—continue to repeat their dysfunctional family patterns in failed marriages and relationships; or replay abuse in their jobs; or have addictions to cover up pain; or they allow others to use them; or have blind spots so they cannot see their own dysfunctional patterns. And, some survivors have all of these problems and more.

Alternative Healing Beyond Recovery for the Genius offers comprehensive solutions to many of the issues that survivors face. First the book gives the reader the Raiguel Life Skills Inventory, one-hundred research-based items, that clearly state the issues. Taking the quiz can be very helpful articulating the issues that have been in the background but unspoken for years. Some of those life skills are:

  • Building Trust
  • Being in the Body
  • Expressing Emotions: Having Fun
  • Expressing Needs
  • Managing Anger Appropriately
  • Managing Your Addictions
  • Overcoming Blinds Spots
  • Not Overhelping
  • Not Being Perfect
  • Not Being Used
  • Setting Goals and Managing Money.

Raiguel also includes many guided visualizations, as well as other alternative techniques, she has used for years in her clinical practice with clients that are powerful and effective for healing the past. Raiguel also explains life skills exercises that the reader can do to strengthen those skills.

This book is a powerful tool whether used as a companion to therapy or by individual survivors of abuse.

—Dr. John J. Kohut, Psychiatrist

Raiguel tells stories of life skills graduates who have changed their patterns, learned missing skills and reinvented their abusive pasts and are living abusive-free lives. She began her life skills work in New York City thirty years ago with a small group. Those survivors were the first life skills class lasting six months. The positive results in participants lives were so impressive that she began training other professionals including New York City Child Protective Service workers, Texas Parents’ Anonymous, and Not to Abuse in rural Nevada. Because the life skills curriculum is so simple not only professionals but paraprofessionals have learned her work and are teaching it to their clients and groups. Written in a warm, friendly, yet professional manner, Raiguel outlines her techniques so survivors can heal and teach themselves or counselors can use her book as a companion to therapy. The book is a stand-alone curriculum for leading life skills groups or working with individuals. All these elements make Alternative Healing Beyond Recovery for the Genius a crucial part of anyone’s recovery.

Jill Raiguel, Author

Jill Raiguel, Author

Jill Raiguel is a nationally recognized expert in dealing with adult children of alcoholic issues and in helping people recover from trauma. She is a California licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, teaches nationwide and has a lifelong passion for making a difference. A former adjunct professor of education at California Polytechnic University, Pomona, she has a psychotherapy practice at Kohut Psychiatric Medical Group and has a private shamanic practice. She is the author of several books including Life Skills: Keys to Effective Living and You Are Not Your Problem. She has appeared on more than one hundred TV and radio shows. During the last thirty years, she has used her insight, caring, and skill to help thousands heal themselves.

Raiguel, herself a child of an alcoholic dad, had to learn her own missing life skills. She designed a special Life Skills program for the US Air Force Violence Prevention project, New York City Child Protective Service workers, and Parents Anonymous. Professionals have recognized her work as a breakthrough in abuse recovery. She trained the staff at No to Abuse, a domestic violence prevention program, in Pahrump, Nevada. Clearly, her work helps people break the generational abuse cycle and become “abuse hardy.”

Raiguel earned her bachelor of science degree from Hunter College in New York City and masters of arts from California State University at Hayward, California. She trained at the Marin Family Therapy Institute in Marin, California, as well as with Dr. Hank Wesselman and Dr. Robert Shaw. While editing her high school newspaper in Claremont, California, she launched her writing career and discovered her passion for the written word.

She also trains professionals in her Life Skills program as well as with her visualization and shamanic techniques. In her private practice, she has been a soul retrieval practitioner for more than thirteen years. Shamanism is a set of powerful techniques used by traditional people worldwide and now practiced by many in the West. Shamanism can be effective for issues that are stuck as well as depression, suicide, and addictions. She has a psychotherapy practice at Kohut Psychiatric Medical Group in San Bernardino, California.

Summary of Chapters


Part 1—Understanding What Happened

Chapter 1: How to Use This Book

I invite you to be an active participant when you read. And I strongly suggest you complete the exercises at the end of each chapter to enjoy the full benefits of the Life Skills work in your life.

Chapter 2: Were You Abused? This Book Is for You!

If you survived abuse or a dysfunctional or alcoholic family, you may have asked yourself, What’s wrong with me? Then this book is for you.

Chapter 3: Assessing Your Life Skills

Here you take The Raiguel Life Skills Inventory. I developed these one hundred items in my New York City apartment in 1986 with Harvard-trained Dr. Merle Sprinzen. At that time, Dr. Sprinzen was the director of research for Time-Life, Inc. Each item helps you articulate a Life Skills issue.

Chapter 4:
Distinguishing and Defining Abuse

This chapter helps you distinguish abuse. You learn different types of abuse, including physical, sexual, verbal, and emotional abuse as well as neglect. I also discuss stalking, Internet abuse, terrorist threats, and bullying.

Chapter 5:
What You Can Expect

Here, I discuss common emotional experiences: triggers, flashbacks, nightmares, depression, and anxiety. I give you some practical suggestions for working your way through these issues.

Chapter 6:
Abilities to Empower You and Your Life Skills

In this chapter, I explain taking a stand to end your abuse, intervening in your internal abuse, setting boundaries, and recognizing survival strategies.

Chapter 7:
Change Your Inner Life; Change Your Outer Life

In this chapter, I discuss how I use visualization, homeopathy, and shamanism in working with abuse survivors. These techniques are so effective and fast that I find them crucial in helping folks heal from trauma and abuse.

Chapter 8:
Examining Your Underlying Assumptions

This chapter explores how the underlying assumptions we have made about ourselves influence our lives. Assumptions are decisions we made when we were young to explain events. Most of them form our life’s outlook.

Part 2—Building a Firm Foundation

Chapter 9:
Being in Your Body

This chapter explains why we dissociate or go numb or go out of our bodies. This is something we all do to cope with pain or trauma. I also include simple ways to get yourself back into your body safely and easily.

Chapter 10:
Building Trust

Trusting is an issue for lots of us. Some of us trust too much; some of us don’t trust at all. This chapter discusses those issues. It also gives you some criteria for trusting.

Chapter 11:
Expressing Emotions Appropriately

How do we manage our emotions appropriately? This chapter helps you learn to manage your emotions in a healthy way. It gives you simple things to do but also easy holistic suggestions.

Part 3—Taking Care of Yourself

Chapter 12:
Asking for What You Need

If you grew up in an abusive home, you may not have had a chance to consider your own personal needs. This chapter helps you listen and identify your inner, emotional needs.

Chapter 13:
Having Fun

The idea of playing and having fun may be strange to you and even a little confronting. But we all need to find time to play. This chapter gives you permission to just have fun, to play. It gives some easy suggestions to get you started.

Chapter 14:

This chapter helps you discover how to nurture yourself in a positive, nondestructive way. It starts with giving yourself permission to take good care of you.

Part 4—Ending the Abuse

Chapter 15:
Overcoming Blind Spots

If you drive, you know what a blind spot is on your car. But we can have emotional blind spots as well.

Chapter 16:
Expressing Anger Safely

For many survivors of abuse, anger means danger. But it is a very human emotion. This chapter helps you release old anger safely. It assists you in expressing new anger safely.

Chapter 17:
Not Letting People Use You

Being used is common for those who have been victims of abuse. That can set up a pattern for life. But you can break that pattern.

Chapter 18:
Ending Self-Blame

Even though the actual abuse may have stopped years ago, you may have internalized it. That means you talk to yourself in your head just like your dad or mom did. You still blame yourself just like they did. This chapter teaches you to recognize your own self-blaming.

Chapter 19:
Not Sabotaging Yourself

Self-sabotage means getting in your own way of achieving something you want. This chapter helps you recognize your conscious and unconscious sabotage patterns and learn to make more positive choices.

Part 5—Breaking the Pattern of Pleasing

Chapter 20:
Not Overhelping

By overhelping, I mean helping when it is not wanted or asked for. Overhelping can stop others from growing and cost us. This chapter helps you find a healthier way of helping.

Chapter 21:
Not Needing to be Perfect

We are a culture that likes to be productive. But too much productivity can cost us health, sleep, and time with family. This chapter gives permission to strive when you need to but relax when you can.

Part 6—Relating Positively to Life

Chapter 22:
Managing Your Addictive Nature

What is an addiction? How can we manage it? When do we need outside help? Here, I discuss addictions—alcohol, drugs, sex, Internet, work, gambling—and how to manage them.

Chapter 23:
Telling the Truth

Are there times in your life when you avoid the truth? This chapter helps you recognize the cost and payoff to lying.

Chapter 24:
Making Good Friends

If you were abused, you may isolate yourself to feel safe. This chapter helps you learn to reach out and select good friends.

Chapter 25:
Developing Intimacy

This chapter helps you discover what stops you from being intimate and what you can do to develop healthy intimacy.

Chapter 26:
Expressing Sexuality Appropriately

This chapter discusses specific suggestions for creating a healthier relationship with sex.

Chapter 27:
Managing Money

This chapter examines abuse and money and gives you simple strategies for managing your money. It includes a simple way to budget, save, and manage credit card spending. This chapter also helps you examine your limiting beliefs about money.

Chapter 28:
Setting Goals

This chapter teaches you simple steps to set goals and put plans into action. I give suggestions for setting short- and long-term goals.

Chapter 29:
Celebrating and Validating Your Growth

This chapter encourages you to celebrate and reflect on your growth. Then it gives you some ideas about what is next for you.